...just a couple things

I am having the hardest time being awake lately! If I could sleep all day, I probably would! I want to be more outgoing and stay up all night, but that would mean I am missing out on sleep... which I can't bare to think about! Wednesday nights working at the bar KILLS me! I cannot tell you how quick I get home and jump in the shower just so I can go to bed. Anyway... just had to say that.

The other thing, I'd have to say is one of my biggest pet-peves... DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO CALL ME IF YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON REALLY CALLING! I thought this just applied to guys, I hated dating a guy that you really liked, then he'd say, 'I'll call you tomorrow' and you wouldn't hear from him in weeks... No Thanks! Don't tell me you're going to call me to make me feel like you like me... this doesn't only apply to guys now, GIRLS TOO! I can't tell you how many times lately that my girlfriends say they will call me and then they never do! ...then I get the, 'sorry, i thought you were supposed to call me'... UHG! People, please... I know that I have been known to forget something now and again, but everytime I hear the same excuse from the same friends. I love you all, but please know that this drives me insane. I don't do it to you, stop using the same lame excuses and just call like you said you would or don't say you will! Simple.

Next. Can I just tell you how much I love this new job of mine? I can't believe I am doing the same thing and it is so much different! The atmospher, the attitude, the appreciation... I have worked in the title business since I graduated... that's 6 years now, Sept will be 7. No where, no where is like this place, everyone works together, everyone gets along... it isn't a battle between escrow and title, it isn't a battle between who has more orders. They all work as a big ol' team! Now, the past places I have worked have all said... 'we are team players', but no one is ever really willing to help one another, but here, I haven't even seen anyone say no to another person when asked to help. My attitude changed completely when I started working here, I love my job again! Who can say that? Anyway... I think that is all I have for today.

fat girl seeking skinny body

Guys. They try to be helpful, they try to be sincere, they try to show you they care... but why is it, the way they show all of that tends to be the worst ways ever! Last night as Austin and I were sitting on the couch after dinner, he lays down and puts his feet across my legs, then he pokes my tummy with his foot and said, 'remember how you were excited you had more days off during the week so you could start going to the gym'... uh... what was I supposed to do? Jump up and go? I don't think so... I just gave him the biggest crusty ever and continued sitting there. My problem is, I asked him to be pushy, I asked him to be mean, I asked him to help me, but why is it when he "trys" to be all of that I resent him for it? I get so upset with myself that I have become this lazy overweight person and I get so self contious about it, yet when people try to help I get upset at them. Why does it have to be so hard? I wish that fat could just melt away without working at it... but it doesn't! It seems that I have no self control when it comes to food, I am an endless pit! I need the help and support from the people close to me, but I need to stop being so mad about it! I love Austin to death and I have asked him to help so why is it so hard for me to understand he IS trying to help?